Ante

Now, once upon a time, there was a card
With tattered edges, marred by fold and crease
And, in a brand-new deck it wasn't hard
To spot, so folks knew not to draw the piece

But Jack came strolling up and eyed the deck
Held out and fanned by one just known as 'Fate'
He saw the battered card. He rubbed his neck
And stood there for a bit to contemplate

No one had ever thought about the 'why'
That made the poor torn card so sad and bruised
It's shabbiness served well to turn their eye
And pick a shiny card less frayed and used

But Jack saw every crease and fold and tear
A journey, an adventure or a tale
They seemed better instead of worse for wear
Those marrings called to him and cinched the sale

He drew the card; its face now matters not
He was the first to love the card he got.

Oh, Hello

I've always sort of made fun of Tori for humanizing her songs, calling them her 'girls' and giving them this odd sort of free will. And I don't think the things I write - poems or stories - are people. But they do talk to me. Some of them are insistent, some further themselves only when I'm about to fall asleep, etc.. But they all have different ways of making me write them, and all of them vex me in different ways.

This one is annoying, because it's not the one I wanted to spend my time on. I had other ideas, but this is the one I'm now thinking about constantly. It's not about any of my passions, it's not The Great American Novel. But it's the one that I'm writing and the one that won't let me be until I finish it.

Ah, well. Sometimes your Muse is an angry bitch goddess, sometimes it's a quiet, insinuating little shit.

Please Stop

Please, please stop.

Please.

PLEASE GOD PLEASE STOP.

It's time to disassociate from this, adult men. I don't care how good the show is. I don't care how many times you say The Humor Is Actually Aimed At Adults As Well As Kids and The Story Is Actually Really Cohesive and If You Actually Watched It, You'd Understand.

Son, sometimes good things get ruined by awful people. Sometimes, there's something awesome, but people take it over and turn it into something terrible. Sometimes an ancient symbol of good fortune turns into one of the most recognizable and reviled icons in human history. And it sucks, but you're never gonna get it back, and if you wear a T-shirt with it on it, no matter how many times you say The American Indians Used It Way Before Hitler Did, people are still going to want to punch you in the face. For good reason.

My Little Pony is now awful. Awful men have done things to it and made it awful. The show could be penned by the duo writing team of Shakespeare and Jesus, and voiced by Sinatra and Crosby, and it would still be awful because these awful people have done awful things with it. And it's such a damn shame, because there are so many little girls out there who love it and have every right to do so. It breaks my heart that my four-year-old niece is gonna grow up and learn what awful men did to her beloved childhood show. Fuck you guys. Leave it alone. Just leave it ALONE.

It's time to cut your losses and take your leave while you still have some integrity and decency intact, gentlemen-who-don't-fuck-or-fake-marry-ponies. I know several of you, and none of you are awful, but you are being associated with truly awful people. There are forty billion and seven awesome shows out there with clever writing and cohesive plot, and don't make you look like a pedo creepster. Go watch one of them. Leave the ponies to my niece and her friends and help it to stay appropriate and innocent.