Haters Gonna Hate

The idea of not letting naysayers get you down is an old one, and I think it's a valid one in a lot of ways. But, the Internet has spawned this bizarre aura of imperviousness with the above phrase that seems to do some damage, too. I think haters serve a very useful purpose - they put things in perspective.

I dunno where all the fucking humility has gone these days, and I wish it'd come back. It seems that everyone is either an egocentric douche or a  low-self-esteem mess. In both these instances, any whiff of criticism sparks drama: the douches point and declare you a 'hater', and the fragile sensitives see it as a personal affront and guilt you into feeling like Satan for mentioning it.

Haters remind us not to take ourselves too seriously, for good or ill. While their comments should not be considered the defining opinion of you or what you're doing, it's not bad to see that you're not fabulous to every single person on the planet and that the opinions you have, the things you do, and the way you are aren't all perfect. And, rather than let that send you into a spiral of self-castigation or make you put up blinders, it should temper your self-awareness into something a little more humble. Ideally, it should also give you a sense of humor about yourself and your life, but that's a little harder to achieve.

I'm a big fan of recognizing absurdity in people and myself. I really enjoy stepping back a moment and seeing the big picture and looking at myself from different angles. I have various social groups, and it's interesting how they each (if they're aware of the other) sees the other ones as weird, lame or ridiculous. It shows me that it's the insular nature of those groups that keep perspective at bay. And I have friends who take steps back, too, to look at it and laugh ("THIS is what I'm spending my Friday night doing" comes out from all sides on occasion).

As for BEING a Hater (and I am, believe me), I wouldn't do it if I wasn't able to rotate that ol' mirror 'round at myself, too. In fact, I tend to hate hardest on the things of which I am a part (by 'hate', I mean mock or criticize). That doesn't mean I don't enjoy being a part of them, but I am someone who NEEDS that grain of salt, so I don't start getting too big a head.

With all this comes perspective on top of perspective - this post sounds all official and full of surety, but I know I still have occasions where a troll will make me rage or cry, or I'll dismiss someone's criticism with that catch-all word 'Hater'. I'm not as wise or cool as I want to be, but I'm working on it.