Ante

Now, once upon a time, there was a card
With tattered edges, marred by fold and crease
And, in a brand-new deck it wasn't hard
To spot, so folks knew not to draw the piece

But Jack came strolling up and eyed the deck
Held out and fanned by one just known as 'Fate'
He saw the battered card. He rubbed his neck
And stood there for a bit to contemplate

No one had ever thought about the 'why'
That made the poor torn card so sad and bruised
It's shabbiness served well to turn their eye
And pick a shiny card less frayed and used

But Jack saw every crease and fold and tear
A journey, an adventure or a tale
They seemed better instead of worse for wear
Those marrings called to him and cinched the sale

He drew the card; its face now matters not
He was the first to love the card he got.

Oh, Hello

I've always sort of made fun of Tori for humanizing her songs, calling them her 'girls' and giving them this odd sort of free will. And I don't think the things I write - poems or stories - are people. But they do talk to me. Some of them are insistent, some further themselves only when I'm about to fall asleep, etc.. But they all have different ways of making me write them, and all of them vex me in different ways.

This one is annoying, because it's not the one I wanted to spend my time on. I had other ideas, but this is the one I'm now thinking about constantly. It's not about any of my passions, it's not The Great American Novel. But it's the one that I'm writing and the one that won't let me be until I finish it.

Ah, well. Sometimes your Muse is an angry bitch goddess, sometimes it's a quiet, insinuating little shit.

Please Stop

Please, please stop.

Please.

PLEASE GOD PLEASE STOP.

It's time to disassociate from this, adult men. I don't care how good the show is. I don't care how many times you say The Humor Is Actually Aimed At Adults As Well As Kids and The Story Is Actually Really Cohesive and If You Actually Watched It, You'd Understand.

Son, sometimes good things get ruined by awful people. Sometimes, there's something awesome, but people take it over and turn it into something terrible. Sometimes an ancient symbol of good fortune turns into one of the most recognizable and reviled icons in human history. And it sucks, but you're never gonna get it back, and if you wear a T-shirt with it on it, no matter how many times you say The American Indians Used It Way Before Hitler Did, people are still going to want to punch you in the face. For good reason.

My Little Pony is now awful. Awful men have done things to it and made it awful. The show could be penned by the duo writing team of Shakespeare and Jesus, and voiced by Sinatra and Crosby, and it would still be awful because these awful people have done awful things with it. And it's such a damn shame, because there are so many little girls out there who love it and have every right to do so. It breaks my heart that my four-year-old niece is gonna grow up and learn what awful men did to her beloved childhood show. Fuck you guys. Leave it alone. Just leave it ALONE.

It's time to cut your losses and take your leave while you still have some integrity and decency intact, gentlemen-who-don't-fuck-or-fake-marry-ponies. I know several of you, and none of you are awful, but you are being associated with truly awful people. There are forty billion and seven awesome shows out there with clever writing and cohesive plot, and don't make you look like a pedo creepster. Go watch one of them. Leave the ponies to my niece and her friends and help it to stay appropriate and innocent.

Gilt

Prep for surgery
Oh, my darlin' clemency
Two breaths, here we go.

Weren't We Just Discussing This?

Met up with friends at a local lounge last night. I was the only girl in the group and I was seated on the couch between Kyle and another fellow. At one point, I got up to use the restroom and when I came out, I saw some drunk older woman sitting where I'd been. And the guys were all sitting very still, looking a little tense. I had no clue what the heck was going on. The drunk lady got up, babbled a bit to me, I shook her hand and babbled back and then she wandered off and I sat back down.

Turns out, she came and sat and immediately put her hand on Kyle's thigh. And Kyle picked her hand off him and told her not to touch him. She laughed it off and said something like 'Don't get mean'. But Kyle was pissed. And the other lads began to have a concern that things might get ugly quickly. They didn't, I came back and there you have it.

Kyle kept talking about it on the way home. Short comments like 'I can't believe that bitch touched me', over and over. And I realized - he was genuinely upset by it. And I also realized that I was an idiot for being surprised about that fact.

Kyle said 'I can't imagine being a girl'. We talked about it some more, and he was pretty amazed at how awful it would be if some drunk old man sat down next to a girl and groped her thigh. If the genders had been reversed, it would've been so bad. But, I think it was bad regardless of gender.

He didn't break down and sob, and there was no lasting trauma or whatever. But he didn't like a stranger touching him with familiarity and he didn't like her playing it off like he was the bad one for not accepting or reciprocating it. And both of us seemed preconditioned to laugh and forget about it or not care that it happened, and when Kyle kept mentioning it because it was genuinely bothering him, we both realized that such preconditioning doesn't hold water.

So, now that's two instances of women forcing their shit onto people who didn't ask for it. The one from yesterday pisses me off on a higher level because she's doing what she's protesting against. But both are gross.

Fuck You Whore

I saw this on a friend's Facebook.

THIS PISSES ME OFF.

When a guy exposes himself to strangers, it's a traumatizing, reprehensible, vile thing.

When this whore does it, it's Feminism and Anti-Body Shaming and A Fierce Statement About Rape.

Fuck you. You don't speak for me. You aren't all women. I refuse to be represented by someone who feels it's okay to force her naked stupid gross exhibitionist crap on the public. I don't want to see a random guy's dick; I don't want to see your nasty taped titties and your smug little smirk. Put some goddamn clothes on and have the same respect for those who don't want you to force your tits on them that you supposedly do for the women you think you know who don't want to be sexually harassed.

Nobody around you, unless you fucking polled each person in whatever downtown you're skanky ass is in, asked to see your tit-diatribe. You just did EXACTLY what you're protesting.

Stop being a whore. I am ashamed to share a gender with you.

Lady Consumptia

I've now had this cough for 5 weeks and it is getting worse. I've done a course of antibiotics, used a humidifier, enjoyed the pleasures of a Neti pot, and taken liberal OTC medicines (as well as codeine), all to no avail. So, today I went to get chest X-rays. When the technician looks at the proof after he's taken your Xray, winces and says 'Ooog'...

They won't get to my doctor for a day or two. I am really unhappy. I can't laugh, sing, talk for more than a few seconds, my tongue is blistered from all the cough drops and the amount of sugar from so many of them is making me nauseous, and I can't sleep.

It wasn't this bad a couple days ago - in fact, I had thin, bleary hope that I was getting better. Then things just plummeted.

This sucks. I've started hating life.